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How to Support an Aging Partner Through the Emotions of Choosing Assisted Living

Senior man walking with a senior woman with a cane outside

According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, about 70% of seniors aged 65 and older will need some form of higher-level care for an average of three years. If you’re married, there’s a good chance that either you or your spouse may eventually need assisted living or another type of long-term care. 

While you may have originally planned to stay in your family home, there are benefits to moving to a Life Plan Community like Freedom Pointe at The Villages. That way, when one’s spouse needs assisted living, you can still remain close to each other. 

How to Know When One’s Spouse Needs Assisted Living

Assisted living communities are designed to promote independence in a safe, home-like setting. Your loved one will receive help with the activities of daily living (ADLs), including getting ready for the day, and have a calendar full of engaging activities. Here’s how to tell if your spouse could benefit from assisted living: 

  • Changes in mood: Crankiness, unexplained anger or a sudden disinterest in favorite hobbies or pastimes can all point to a need for extra support. 
  • Difficulty with home upkeep: If you’re the one who typically does all the chores around the house, it may be hard to notice a change. But if your spouse is having difficulty with the things they used to do, like getting ready in the morning, it could be a sign they need additional support.   
  • Mobility challenges: Difficulty walking or getting out of a chair or bed can make all other routine tasks and self-care more difficult. 
  • Driving difficulties: An increase in dents and scrapes on their car bumper, especially fender benders, can suggest that driving has become more difficult and dangerous. 

How to Talk About Assisted Living

Once you’ve decided to bring up assisted living with your spouse, here are some ways to approach the conversation thoughtfully: 

  • Do some research: Learn the basics of assisted living and its benefits so you feel prepared and confident. 
  • Listen actively: Your spouse may have fears concerns, or strong feelings about moving. Don’t minimize them – validate their emotions and ask questions to understand their perspective. 
  • Don’t rush: Give your partner time to process the idea and express how they’re feeling. Reaching a mutual agreement will ultimately make the transition smoother. 
  • Stay focused: Remember, your goal is to help your spouse find the support they need so they can enjoy life again. 
  • Be empathetic: Keep checking in throughout the process. It may take time for them to see that the move is in their best interest. 
  • Return to being a couple: With dedicated assisted living caregivers handling daily needs, you’ll be able to spend more meaningful time together as partners, not just caregivers and receivers. 

Making the Move to Assisted Living

Adjusting to a move into assisted living can take time. Despite a physical transition, there are many ways to stay emotionally connected and supportive: 

  • Plan frequent visits: Regular time together can strengthen your bond and ease the adjustment. 
  • Use community spaces: Take advantage of communal areas for gatherings and quality time. 
  • Stay involved: Keep up with your spouse’s care plan, attend events and remain engaged in their daily life. 
  • Start new routines: Create fresh habits like weekly or even daily video calls or sending handwritten notes to stay connected. 

Assistance for the Both of You

At Freedom Pointe, when one’s spouse needs assisted living, you can count on us to support your loved one so you can focus on enjoying life together. We’ll personalize a care plan that promotes independence and well-being. To learn more about how our assisted living community can support your family, use our Community Assistant chat feature or contact us here to schedule a personal visit today.